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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Mothers and Daughters

Much has already been written about the often stormy relationships between many mothers and daughters. There are self help groups, books, and websites designed to coach mothers through the difficult teenage years, for example, but those too can go out the window when all of a mother's buttons get pushed by her teenage daughter who knows everything. An emotional Catastrophe can take place. Yelling. Crying. Accusing. Blaming. Retracting. Fury and Loathing. Resentment. Gut-wrenching honesty. Explosive family drama doesn't just happen in the movies or in books. It happens every day in a household with a seventeen year old girl and a worried 48 year old mother. What is more frustrating to an experienced 48 year old woman than to have to listen to the rantings of a seventeen year old convinced she knows everything. It's horrible to live through that kind of torment. It truly tears into the hearts of all concerned. It gives you a headache, the kind you get after sobbing for an hour. It gives you courage, the kind you get after discovering some of the truth behind the teenager's comments. It gives you a heartache, the kind you get after a word-fight that cuts to the core and leaves scars even after its supposedly healed. And at what price do these kinds of emotional explosions occur? What toll do they take on all concerned? It's terrible to realize that you are just like your mother: stubborn, unforgiving, blame-filled, and angry. When will these generational atrocities just stop? When can the healing begin? After an emotional catharsis in a family, the only thing to do is laugh, hug, smile, and try to make it as smoothly as possible to the next episode. It's life in a powder keg, this mother daughter stuff is.

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