setting for the novel...

the main setting takes place on a piece of property above the river on some bluffs with lots of trees and flowers and a huge garden fenced in by a fence they built to keep some critters out. Three old schoolbuses are organized together to create a three part dwelling: one bus is hers, one is his, and then the community bus where there is a big kitchen and lots of hanging plants and a nice old oriental rug well worn but expensive that they got at an auction for only twenty bucks. Each schoolbus has an awning built over the front door so they can go outside and sit even when it's raining. Each bus has a small woodstove and when all three are cranked up in the coldest cold of winter everything inside is toasty and warm, very cozy. The floors of the buses are hardwood that they installed little by little from scraps at people's houses where they worked together sometimes doing odd jobs when they could.
The river property is in the midwest, in Missouri, in Washington county. The name of the river is Big River. They have a small boat with an outboard and two canoes and a kayak stored in a shed they built away from the schoolbus homes. the year is 2010. They have lived at the river for five years. There is lots of background about the stories of each of the characters' lives, but the main part of the novel is centered around what takes place at the river and then of course the ending is tragic and sad but beautiful nonetheless. People read it; people watch the movies like that. It's possible that I have been sitting on a gold mine with some of my love stories and just didn't take them seriously enough to try to finish them and send them out. Those days are about to come to an end. Next I have to sketch out some plot lines and some character sketches to flesh out the people's backgrounds. Plus I have to come up with good names for them and a name for the town they go shopping in. Both characters are disabled, too, so there is a political element to the novel in that they face stigma in society for their disabilities so that contributed to why they set up their lives at the river. So exciting and so much more to come!!!!

a vision

They lived by the river in three old schoolbusses. Yellow ones at the beginning, but now custom painted and decorated. Hers was filled with art and flowers, his with trophy fish and taxidermized deer. They lived in harmony with nature, eating things they grew in a huge garden and fresh fish and meat like squirrel and once in a while even opposum. It was a beautiful life until when she was eight months pregnant and they were swimming in the river she got bit by a water moccasin and they couldn't make it to the hospital and she died in his arms in the river and like the great hunter that he was he cut out her heart and buried it in a tin in the dirt. It's my new idea for a novel. I'm working out who the characters are, how they get to a place called schoolbusville. How they get along and interact. I don't even think I know how to write a novel. I just write a lot of descriptive stuff and it doesn't go anywhere. I don't know what to do, how to proceed. I guess to just freewrite for a while and see what happens. I don't know if I should incorporate the school bus by the river idea into my last attempt at a novel with Barney and Lisa in what I titled The Crazy of Wind. Maybe that's how the old story would end. With her dying in his arms in the river. How tragic and how sad it is that readers thrive on stuff like that. It's partly why I have resisted my natural ability to write that kind of story because I don't want to promote unrealistic fantasy of love type thinking because I think that damages women's abilities to have realistic relationships with men....that has always been my experience, my theory. But some are encouraging me to just write what I know, so I'm going to use my blog for that for a little while and see how that works out.

I love the peace and silent noise of water

slippers in sunlight

A pair of old slippers in a square of sunlight brought such joy to my yesterday but I forgot to write my blog so I'm writing it today instead. I know I am behind; I have set some goals that I do not seem capable of reaching. I can't understand why I am so unable to focus on my writing. It confuses me. I am a good writer and i like to write so why am I avoiding it or failing to do it everyday? I can't really call myself a writer, can I? My friends say I am a writer anyway, but there are a couple of friends I know of like Joe Benevento who would say that if I wanted to write i would just write and not write about not writing!!!

Slippers in a square of sunlight, oh you have walked on many floors, carpets, dirt, tents...you have been part of my life for more than twenty years. I have taken you to all the places in this world I have traveled to. I have worn you with boots to hide you but still felt comfort from you deep inside the boot!

MY daughter is coming home in a week; she has been with her Grandma visiting. I bought us a tent and am equipping us for camping and fishing this summer. It's her last summer before turning 18 next year. This year will be her seventeenth birthday which just blows my mind, actually, since I still see her and hear her at every young little age she used to be....I have loved her all along and am really looking forward to the summer. And to writing every day I can. Which should be EVERY DAY.

Memorial Day

Memorial Day means so many different things; everyone focuses on their own version of the holiday, so let me focus on my version. Of course I am grateful to all the veterans who gave their lives, but I am also grateful for all the people I have known in my life, some of whom I would like to mention here in my Memorial Day blog:

my parents, Ken Gardzinski, Mike Slowey, Ben Hill, Jacquie Fortner, Starr Hawk, my mom, my daughter, Geoff, and that's all I can think of for now....

Oh, to be young again! Memories of youth surround us on Memorial day. We don't just think of those who gave their lives, but of those who lives were given to us in the form of friendship and love. We must remember our past and pay homage to those who have influenced us, helped us, hurt us, been a part of our memories. On Memorial Day, we must practice remembrance.

I fly the flag of memory everyday but on this day it billows and flows in the wind of my mind.

rivertrip

For me, it was almost like going to the moon. The sounds, the water, the fish I caught. A very good time. The friends, the campfire, the hooks, the split-shots, just everything.

where have i been?

So much has been going on that I have been in a state of writing paralysis but today i make myself write no matter what. About an idea for a new writing called The Pill Hunter or something like that but its about a man who goes from society after a tragic life altering event to live from the river and woods. And I need to write about being a writing teacher and about being a mother and about valuing female friendships and about falling in love at any age and about the beauty of container gardening. About standing someone up for a date, about getting really drunk and blacking out, about eating french toast for breakfast, going to dig for worms and coming back emptyhanded, about getting a vintage outboard for a boat, and so much more. There is where I will focus my writing. I must try so much harder to be faithful and write everyday this summer. I have been out of school for two weeks now and in a haze of daze and mindfog. But here I emerge with a new mission and a slew of new topics. I don't know if I will post pictures with each post or not. That was fun but limiting. And off we go, again!